


Bets and Bats

by Nautika



Series: Fratt Week 2020 [2]
Category: Daredevil (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bickering, Fratt Week 2020, Gen, Halloween, The Lord of the Rings References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:54:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24344587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nautika/pseuds/Nautika
Summary: Sherlock Holmes, Arthur Dent and Spongebob walk into a bar.Fratt Week 2020 Day Two: "Suit"
Relationships: Frank Castle & Matt Murdock
Series: Fratt Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1756264
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34
Collections: Fratt Week





	Bets and Bats

“Aang from Last Airbender!” said Luke.

Danny smiled. “I did consider it, but no.”

“One Punch Man!” Jessica yelled, hitting her fist on the table.

Danny shook his head no.

“Please. It’s obviously Daredevil,” Matt said calmly.

“It’s not Daredevil, you narcissist asshole,” Jessica scoffed.

“While I don’t condone this kind of language, no, it isn’t Daredevil,” Danny said, amused. 

“Oh! He said Language! He’s going as Captain America!” Luke sounded sure this time.

Danny nodded. “That would have been a great choice, but it is not mine.”

Jessica threw her hands in the air. “Alright, we give up. What’s it gonna be on Halloween for you this year?”

Danny grinned. “Spongebob.”

“Uhm.” said Matt.

“Uh-huh?” said Jessica.

“An unusual choice,” said Luke, carefully.

Danny tilted his head. “Is it? I am actually a little surprised it wasn’t your first thought, as it seems like a very obvious choice.”

Matt nodded gravely. “Yes, absolutely. We were just humoring you, isn’t that right, Jess?”

“Uh, yes, totally. But would you tell us your reasoning anyway? Just, uh, so we can compare notes..?” 

“My pleasure,” Danny smiled. “For one, Spongebob is very into martial arts and trained with the best at a place called ‘Karate Island’. I am impressed with his single minded dedication and determination to get a project done, especially in that one krusty krab pizza episode. His best friends reminded me so much of you three. There’s this very clever squirrel, who can solve any puzzle presented to her, like Jessica. Then his best friend is a chilled-out Starfish, who always has Spongebob’s back, just like Luke has mine. And there’s his co-worker with the grumpy attitude, but whose heart is in the right place, like you, Matt.”

At this point none of the Defenders knew whether they should be offended or not, though Matt’s face went from grumpy to extra grumpy.

But Danny wasn’t finished. “Spongebob is always ready to help his friends, as am I. Also, he doesn’t have a driver’s licence and I feel for him. Everyone underestimates him because he’s a literal ray of sunshine and _also very clever when he wants to be, even if everybody always thinks he’s stupid, especially that grumpy neighbor of his!_ ” 

The last part was accompanied by a glare that even Matt could feel. 

“Uh,” Luke finally said, “I mean… if you put it like this…”

“...it really is an obvious choice,” Jessica agreed and quickly emptied a bottle of vodka.

Luke leaned back in his chair. “I’m gonna take it easy and go as Arthur Dent. All I need is a bathrobe and a towel. So no need for any kind of preparation, I’ve got enough on my plate as it is. DD, what about you?”

Matt shrugged. “Not sure yet. Was thinking about simply using my old costume.”

Jessica groaned. “Noooo not the horns, I can’t handle the horns!”

“I liked it,” Danny said, diplomatic as always.

“Wouldn’t do it,” Luke said. “Last time you showed up in that thing, a building landed on top of you. It has a bad vibe. Also, horns,” he grinned.

Matt crossed his arms. “It wasn’t that bad!” he defended himself.

“Ooooh boy, it was that bad!” Jessica and Luke laughed, and even Danny had trouble staying serious. 

Matt pouted. “Whatever,” he grumbled and made a show of waving his wrist in front of his eyes. “Would you look at the time. I need to go. Some of us have work to do!”

Danny nodded. “Say hello to Frank from us,” he said, and Matt was glad his back was already to his friends so they couldn’t see him blushing on his way to the door.

“No, no, no, wait,” Jessica said. “First you have to do me! Who am I gonna be for Halloween? Bet you can’t figure it ou-”

“Sherlock Holmes.” the Defenders said in unison.

“...you fuckers…” Jessica grumbled, right as the door closed behind Matt.

* * *

“Ready for the Return of the King?” Frank asked, lazily throwing Popcorn in Matt’s open mouth. 

The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen nodded and snuggled deeper into the soft woolen blanket Frank had provided for him. “Ready,” he smiled. 

Frank started the movie and began commenting and narrating. It wasn’t really necessary, Matt had listened to the audio books several times and had even watched the movies with Foggy narrating. But it was different with Frank.

Frank narrated the battle scenes like one would enthusiastically comment a soccer match, and Matt enjoyed that very much. 

“The stone is in the air… it’s flying towards that one especially ugly orc! The orc’s just standing there looking cool - but now there’s panic on his face, panic I tell you! He sees the stone coming and he knows he can’t step aside, that would undermine his earlier behavior! Certain death is coming towards him and he will face it with the determination of- what is that, he’s _stepped aside and spit on the stone_ , ooooh that will hurt his authority!” Frank yelled and Matt took a sip of his tea. 

After Frodo went with the elves and Sam married his one true love, Matt stretched and pulled his feet out of the Punisher’s lap. Time to go out and beat up some bad guys. 

* * *

“I’m beginning to believe you’re a bad luck charm,” Frank said, looking around.

“Hey, this isn’t my fault!” Matt readied his batons.

“I’m not saying it is, I’m just saying I’m never suddenly surrounded by at least thirty bad guys with bats. So it must be you.”

“Frank, that’s because you’re usually just shooting them from two streets away.”

“Yes, because I’m smart, and that is what smart people do. What kind of dumbass would willingly get into fistfights every night?”

“Well.” said Matt.

Frank nodded. “Exactly.”

Matt huffed. “I don’t think they have guns. Beat them up, go home, watch The Hobbit?”

“Sounds like a plan… but even without guns… thirty guys?” Frank sounded doubtful.

Matt grinned ferally. “Remember Gimli and Legolas? Let’s make it count!”

Frank laughed. “You’ll never win against me, you realise that?”

“You think, Frank? Wanna bet?”

“You’re on. Any ideas what the bet’s about?”

Matt smirked. “Well…..”

* * *

Silently, Matt stepped into the bar, his cape swishing dramatically. Sherlock Holmes was the first to see him and began to laugh.

“So you’ve found something, eh? And it has horns!” she grinned.

Matt flapped his cape. “They’re ears,” he said in his deepest voice, which caused Spongebob to giggle.

Arthur Dent nodded his approval. “Good choice. Looks good on you and nobody will know who you are, even when you’re seen with us.”

“I am the night!” grunted Matt. 

Spongebob smiled. “It fits you really well, what with the echolocation and everything. And the darkness. And the grumpiness. And the melodramatics. And the brooding, oh my gosh the brooding! And the-”

“I am vengeance!” Matt grunted and went to strangle Spongebob, but Sherlock Holmes stopped him by pulling his cape.

“Hey Batman,” she grinned, “where’s Robin?”

“....here.” a voice came from behind her, and shortly after the Punisher appeared, picking at his green hotpants, glaring at everyone, daring them to laugh. 

They dared and didn’t stop daring. 

“Don’t listen to them, I think you look great!” Batman called.

Nobody thought anything of it when a buff looking Robin chased an acrobatic Batman through Central Park. It was Halloween, after all. 


End file.
